How do I set up parental controls on an Xbox?

To set up parental controls on an Xbox, you first give your child their own child account inside your Microsoft family group, with you as the organiser. Once that’s done, you can set screen time, limit games by age, choose who they can chat and play with, and control spending, from the console, a web browser, or the free Xbox Family Settings app on your phone (Xbox). These steps are for the Xbox Series X and Series S. Set aside about twenty minutes.

The steps below are based on Xbox’s own pages and the Internet Matters step-by-step guide. Menus can move a little between system updates, so if something looks different, the linked pages are the place to check.

Before you start: the family group

Everything hangs off a Microsoft family group: your own Microsoft account, plus a child account for each child. Xbox encourages parents of children aged 13 or under to set one up, because it’s how you manage screen time, spending limits, privacy and content settings (Xbox). Internet Matters points out you need a Microsoft account for yourself and a separate one for your child (Internet Matters).

Xbox gives three ways to add your child (Xbox):

1. On the web: go to account.microsoft.com/family, sign in, set up a family group and add your child.
2. On the console: press the Xbox button on the controller to open the guide, then select Profile & system > Settings > Account > Family settings > Manage family members.
3. On your phone: use the Xbox Family Settings app, free for iPhone and Android.

One thing to know: the settings only apply when your child is signed in to the Microsoft account with the Xbox profile that’s in your family (Xbox). If they play on a sibling’s or a guest profile, your limits won’t follow them, which is why Step 5 below matters.

Step 1: Set age limits on games and apps

On the console, go to Settings > General > Online safety & family > Family settings. You’ll be asked for your PIN. Select Manage family members, choose your child, then Access to content, and pick your child’s age from the list (Internet Matters).

Age ratings come in steps, so the number you pick may not match a rating exactly. Internet Matters gives the example that choosing 13 lets your child access content rated up to 12, as there is no 13 rating.

Step 2: Set screen time

Internet Matters describes this route (Internet Matters):

1. Go to Settings > General > Online safety & family > Family settings > Family on the web (enter your PIN).
2. Choose your child’s account, then the Xbox tab.
3. Scroll to Devices. Under Xbox consoles, select Turn limits on.
4. Select the three dots at the top right, then Edit limits. Set a time limit and schedule, either Every day or different for each day of the week. Add a schedule lets you allow more than one slot in a day.
5. Select Done.

The Xbox Family Settings app does the same from your phone: you can create a schedule for each child that’s different for each day of the week, and Pause Screen Time to stop play straight away. Your child sees a message that their screen time is up until you let them play again (Xbox). If they ask for more time from the console, the request lands in the app for you to answer, which can be a calmer way to handle “five more minutes” than calling up the stairs.

Internet Matters also suggests break reminders on your child’s console: Settings > Preferences > Break reminder. They suggest every 30 minutes for children under 13 and every hour for older children (Internet Matters).

Step 3: Choose who they can chat and play with

Go to Family settings > Manage family members, choose your child, then Privacy & online safety > Xbox privacy. You can pick Child defaults as a starting point, or View details & customise to go setting by setting (Internet Matters). Internet Matters says the Child default makes your child’s profile private.

Under Communication & multiplayer, the settings include:

• Multiplayer games: whether they can play online with others.
• Cross-network play: whether they can play with people on other consoles and PCs.
• Others can communicate: Everybody, Friends or Block.
• Communication outside of Xbox and Video for communication.

In the app, Friend Management means your child can “Ask a parent” before adding a new friend, and you can see and remove friends they follow (Xbox). There’s also an Enable Minecraft option, which lets your child play Minecraft online even if online multiplayer is off for other games. Handy if Minecraft with their cousins is the one game that matters.

Step 4: Sort out spending

Internet Matters suggests two layers (Internet Matters):

• On the console: in your child’s Xbox privacy settings, select Buy & download and turn Ask a parent on. Your child then needs your permission to buy or download new games or content.
• In Microsoft Family: select your child, then Spending. Turn on notifications for every purchase, and keep credit cards off your child’s account. If you can’t, turn on Require approval for every purchase.

If you’d like your child to have some pocket money to spend, you can add money to their account balance and they can spend up to that amount. The Xbox app shows their balance and spending history, and sends you an Ask to Buy notification when they want something they can’t afford (Xbox). Our guide on stopping children spending money in games and apps covers the in-game side too.

Step 5: Lock the settings with a PIN

The Family settings menu on the console is protected by a PIN, which keeps your choices from being changed by anyone but you (Internet Matters). Pick one your child won’t guess, and keep it to yourself. It’s also worth checking that your child plays on their own profile, since that’s where all of the above applies.

What to do next

• This week: add your child to your Microsoft family group and choose Child defaults in their Xbox privacy settings as a starting point. You can loosen things later as they get older.
• Download the Xbox Family Settings app and set a daily screen time schedule that fits your family, with a bit extra at the weekend if that suits.
• Turn on “Ask a parent” for buying and downloading, and keep your card off their account.
• Talk it through with your child before the first limit kicks in: what happens when time’s up, and when it’s fine to ask for more.

Every family’s settings will look a bit different, and that’s fine. The aim is for the console to do the reminding, so you don’t have to be the timekeeper.