What should I do if my child sees something upsetting online?

If your child has seen something online that upset them, the most useful thing you can do first is stay calm, thank them for telling you and listen, before you reach for settings or rules. Then report the content, make one or two changes so it’s less likely to happen again, and keep an eye on how they’re doing over the next while. Recognised bodies including the NSPCC, Internet Matters and Webwise all put the conversation first (NSPCC, Internet Matters, Webwise).

This happens to lots of children in families who are doing everything right. Content spreads fast, feeds pick things up, and friends share things in group chats. It isn’t a sign you’ve failed. Here’s what to do, step by step.

Step 1: Listen first, and make it safe to talk

Children often don’t mention upsetting things because they’re worried their device will be taken away. Internet Matters suggests reassuring them that they’re not in trouble and that you’ll work it out together (Internet Matters).

A few things that help:

• Ask open questions. What did you see? How did it make you feel? Listen without judging (NSPCC).
• Expect any reaction. The NSPCC notes children may feel confused, ashamed, guilty, shocked, sad or even excited, and all of those are normal (NSPCC).
• Find out how they came across it. Was it a search, a video that autoplayed, a link from a friend? That tells you what to change.
• Explain, at their level. Let them know what is and isn’t suitable for their age, and, for scary videos or “challenges”, that not everything online is real (Webwise).

If your child doesn’t come to you but seems “off”, Internet Matters lists signs worth noticing: anxiety, trouble sleeping, or odd questions or a sudden interest in a topic. You could open gently with something like “there’s clearly something bothering you” and make clear it’s about helping, not punishing (Internet Matters).

Step 2: Don’t share it, even to warn others

It’s natural to want to show another parent or the school. Don’t forward the content itself. The NSPCC points out that sharing content showing abuse is illegal and can upset others who see it (NSPCC), and Hotline.ie warns that sharing such imagery may be an offence under Irish law (Hotline.ie). Describe it instead, and report it using a link.

Webwise adds a useful tip for scary “challenges”: avoid repeating the challenge’s name or showing children the images, as that can lead them to go looking for more. And don’t pass on unverified warnings, because many turn out to be hoaxes (Webwise).

Step 3: Report it in the right place

Where you report depends on what it was:

1. On the app or site first. Most platforms have a report option on each post, video or profile. The NSPCC notes some platforms have no moderators, so reporting may be the only way to get content removed (NSPCC). Block the account too if it came from a person.
2. If you’re in Ireland and the platform doesn’t help, Coimisiún na Meán (Ireland’s media and online safety regulator) runs a Contact Centre that advises the public on problems with platforms: email usersupport@cnam.ie or call +353 1 9637755, Monday to Friday, 8am to 6pm (CCPC).
3. Suspected illegal content in Ireland, such as child sexual abuse material, grooming or intimate images shared without consent: report it to Hotline.ie, Ireland’s national reporting centre, which you can do anonymously (Hotline.ie). In the UK, the NSPCC points to CEOP for reporting this kind of content (NSPCC).
4. If a child is in danger right now, call 112 or 999. In Ireland, Hotline.ie also lists the Garda Confidential Line, 1800 666 111, for children at risk or content on private devices or encrypted messaging (Hotline.ie).

If it was bullying, Webwise suggests keeping the messages as a record of dates and times before you report them (Webwise).

Step 4: Make it less likely to happen again

Once things are calmer, use what you learned about how it happened:

• Check the parental controls on the device and router, and the content and age settings inside each app they use (NSPCC). Review them now and then, as children’s needs change.
• Follow app age limits. Internet Matters recommends sticking to them, and notes that on WhatsApp, images are saved to the phone’s photos by default, so anything upsetting needs deleting from the album and then from “Recently deleted” (Internet Matters).
• Practise the basics together: block, report, don’t reply, and come and tell an adult (Webwise).

No setting catches everything, which is why the conversation in Step 1 matters most.

Where to get support

For your child (Ireland): Childline is free, open 24 hours and for young people up to 18. Call 1800 66 66 66, text 50101, or use live chat on childline.ie (gov.ie, Webwise). Webwise notes parents can contact Childline for advice too. Text About It offers anonymous support: text HELLO to 50808 (gov.ie).

For your child (UK): Childline on 0800 1111, free and confidential for under-18s. Its Calm Zone has activities for when children feel anxious, scared or sad (NSPCC).

For you (UK): the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000, 10am to 4pm, Monday to Friday, can help with difficult conversations (NSPCC).

If your child stays very anxious, isn’t sleeping, or mentions self-harm, talk to your GP. Internet Matters advises taking any self-harm or suicidal thoughts seriously and speaking to your GP or the school’s designated person (Internet Matters). In Ireland, Webwise lists Pieta on 01 6010000 for self-harm or suicide concerns (Webwise).

What to do next

• Agree the “tell me” rule this week, even if nothing has happened yet: if anything online feels weird or scary, they come to you and they won’t lose their device for it. Internet Matters suggests agreeing this before a child gets a device (Internet Matters).
• Find the report button together on the two apps your child uses most, so they know where it is before they need it.
• Save the numbers: put Childline and, if you’re in Ireland, Hotline.ie in your phone, and show older children how to reach Childline themselves.
• Check in again in a few days. A quick “how are you feeling about that thing you saw?” tells them the door is still open.

Every child reacts differently, and there’s no perfect script. Staying calm, listening and helping them feel safe to come back to you is what makes the biggest difference.