What should I do if my child is being bullied online?

If your child is being bullied online, start by listening calmly, telling them it’s not their fault and that they’re not in trouble. Then help them not to reply, save the evidence, block and report the people involved, and talk to the school if other pupils are involved. Internet Matters, Webwise and the NSPCC all set out this same basic approach (Internet Matters, Webwise, NSPCC).

Online bullying can happen to any child, in any family, however careful you’ve been. It isn’t a sign you’ve done something wrong, and there’s a lot you can do to help.

What counts as online bullying?

Internet Matters describes cyberbullying as behaviour that is intentional, repeated and difficult to get away from (Internet Matters). That last part is what makes it so hard: the NSPCC points out it can follow a child wherever they go, and a child can be bullied online and offline at the same time (NSPCC).

The NSPCC lists forms it can take, including:

• threatening or abusive messages
• embarrassing photos or videos being shared
• being deliberately left out of games, group chats or friendship groups
• fake accounts, or groups set up to mock someone
• pressure to send sexual images or have sexual conversations

It happens on social media, in messaging apps and inside games.

Signs something might be wrong

Children don’t always say. The NSPCC lists general signs of bullying such as not wanting to go to school, being nervous or withdrawn, or changes in eating or sleeping, and stresses that no single sign means for certain that a child is being bullied (NSPCC). Look for a pattern, and if something feels off, a gentle “you seem a bit down lately, is anything going on?” is a good start.

Step by step: what to do

1. Talk, and make it easy. Internet Matters suggests a relaxed chat, perhaps on a walk or in the car, which can feel less intense than sitting face to face. Ask open questions, listen without judging, give them time, and praise them for telling you (Internet Matters).
2. Tell them it’s not their fault. Reassure them that you’ll sort it out together (Internet Matters).
3. Don’t take their devices away unless that’s what they want. Internet Matters warns this can leave a child feeling more isolated and upset, and it’s often the reason children keep bullying to themselves (Internet Matters).
4. Don’t reply or retaliate. Webwise advises not replying, as it can make things worse (Webwise). Internet Matters adds that hitting back only spreads bullying behaviour; leaving the chat or group is a better move (Internet Matters). That goes for parents too: resist the urge to post or message the other child.
5. Keep the evidence. Take screenshots or save the messages. Webwise notes that platforms, phone companies and the Gardaí will look for evidence before they act (Webwise). Internet Matters suggests storing it somewhere your child won’t keep seeing it (Internet Matters).
6. Block the people involved. Most apps and games have a block option, usually on the person’s profile or in settings (Webwise). If it’s someone from school, your child may not want to; Internet Matters suggests talking about what a healthy friendship looks like (Internet Matters).
7. Report it to the platform. Social networks, games and phone operators all have reporting tools (Webwise). You can report content even if you don’t know who’s behind it (Internet Matters). Report and block options move around between app versions, so check the app’s own help page if you can’t find them.

Talking to the school

If other pupils are involved, Internet Matters suggests speaking to a teacher first rather than going straight to the other child’s parents. If you do contact another parent, stay calm and ask for their help rather than accusing their child (Internet Matters).

In Ireland, schools follow the Department of Education’s Bí Cineálta procedures, which cover primary, post-primary and special schools and include cyberbullying. Schools aren’t responsible for cyberbullying that happens after school hours, but they are expected to act when it carries on in class or on school grounds. They’re asked to treat parents as key partners and to check back with the child and parents after 20 school days to see whether the bullying has stopped (Webwise). Ask the school for a copy of its anti-bullying policy.

In the UK, schools should also have an anti-bullying policy, and a pastoral lead or mentor may be able to help (Internet Matters).

When it’s more serious

Most online bullying is dealt with through blocking, reporting and the school. Some of it crosses a line:

• In Ireland, Webwise advises contacting the Gardaí for serious bullying or harassment (Webwise). Coco’s Law (the Harassment, Harmful Communications and Related Offences Act 2020) made sending threatening or grossly offensive communications, and sharing intimate images without consent, criminal offences. You can report confidentially at any Garda station or by phone, and intimate image abuse can also be reported to Hotline.ie, which starts a request to have it removed (Webwise).
• In the UK, Internet Matters notes there’s no specific law against cyberbullying, but some behaviour is still a crime. It advises reporting to the police anything sexually abusive, anything targeting your child’s ethnicity, sex, disability or sexuality, threats of harm, or content encouraging them to hurt themselves (Internet Matters).
• If you think your child is in immediate danger, call the emergency number 112 (CCPC).

If you’ve reported something to a platform in Ireland and are having trouble getting it dealt with, Coimisiún na Meán’s Contact Centre gives advice on problems with platforms: usersupport@cnam.ie or +353 1 9637755, Monday to Friday, 8am to 6pm (CCPC).

Look after how they’re feeling

Being bullied can really knock a child’s confidence. If you’re worried about their mental or physical health, Internet Matters suggests talking to your GP (Internet Matters). Make sure they know they can also talk to someone other than you:

• Ireland: Childline (ISPCC) on 1800 66 66 66 or text 50101, 24 hours, for under-18s. The National Parents Council Primary helpline for parents is 01 887 4477 (Webwise).
• UK: Childline on 0800 1111, free and confidential, 24/7. Parents can call the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000 (NSPCC).

What to do next

• This week, show your child how to block and report in the apps and games they use most, so they know how before they ever need it.
• Agree a “tell me, you won’t be in trouble” rule: if anything online upsets them, they come to you and the device stays theirs.
• Save Childline’s number in their phone (1800 66 66 66 in Ireland, 0800 1111 in the UK).
• If it’s already happening, start a simple log today: screenshots with dates, kept somewhere private, then book a chat with their teacher.

Every situation is different, and you don’t need to fix it all at once. Staying calm, keeping them talking and taking it one step at a time makes a real difference.