What age should my child get a smartphone?

There’s no legal age for a smartphone, and no single right answer, but the advice from Irish and UK child safety bodies leans one way: wait as long as you reasonably can. CyberSafeKids suggests waiting until your child is at least 13 (CyberSafeKids), and the NSPCC suggests children under 10 use basic devices, such as phones that only call and text (NSPCC). Every body we checked agrees that your child’s maturity matters more than their age.

If your child already has a phone, or you’ve decided they need one, that’s fine too. Plenty of families have good reasons, and the steps further down help whatever age they are.

What the experts say about age

• CyberSafeKids (Ireland) recommends waiting as long as possible before any smart device, and suggests at least 13 for a smartphone (CyberSafeKids). Its parenting guide adds that “every child is different” and encourages holding off for as long as possible (CyberSafeKids guide).
• The Department of Education has encouraged parents and schools to agree voluntary codes on smartphones for primary school children, giving the example of Greystones, where parents agreed not to buy smartphones while their children were in primary school (gov.ie).
• The NSPCC (UK) says there are no exact rules about the right age. It suggests basic, limited devices for under-10s, and for older children, checking app age limits and keeping talking (NSPCC).
• Internet Matters (UK) doesn’t set an age either, but notes that many children have their own device by 11 to 13 (Internet Matters).
• Common Sense Media says age isn’t as important as your child’s maturity, and that the decision is up to you (Common Sense Media).

So the Irish advice is a little firmer than the UK and US advice, but nobody is saying there’s one correct birthday.

Why 13 keeps coming up

Most social media apps have a minimum age of 13, and CyberSafeKids says children under 13 shouldn’t have their own social media accounts (CyberSafeKids guide). The NSPCC explains that 13 comes from data protection laws that limit collecting under-13s’ data without a parent’s consent (NSPCC). In Ireland, CyberSafeKids notes that the digital age of consent is 16, so 13 to 16-year-olds need a parent’s permission to sign up (CyberSafeKids guide).

A smartphone isn’t the same as social media, but in practice it makes those apps much easier to reach. That’s a big part of why many experts link the two.

Is my child ready? Questions to ask

These questions come from Internet Matters, Common Sense Media and CyberSafeKids (Internet Matters, Common Sense Media, CyberSafeKids guide):

1. What’s the phone for? Staying safe on the walk home, keeping in touch with friends, gaming? The answer shapes what kind of phone they need.
2. Do they look after their things? If school jumpers and lunchboxes go missing every week, a phone might too.
3. Do they keep the rules you already have for the tablet or console, and stop when asked?
4. Do they make good choices online, and tell you when something goes wrong?
5. Will they use it kindly, without sharing photos or messages that could hurt or embarrass someone?
6. Are you ready? CyberSafeKids makes the point that you’re taking on responsibility too: setting it up, checking in and keeping an eye on it (CyberSafeKids guide).

If the honest answer to a few of these is “not yet”, Common Sense Media says it’s fine to say “No, not yet” (Common Sense Media).

The in-between options

If the real reason is staying in touch, you don’t have to choose between nothing and a full smartphone:

• A basic phone that only calls and texts. The NSPCC suggests these for under-10s (NSPCC), and CyberSafeKids suggests a non-internet phone if contact is the main worry (CyberSafeKids).
• A GPS watch instead of a phone, which CyberSafeKids suggests as another option for staying in contact (CyberSafeKids).
• A “phone in stages” approach. CyberSafeKids suggests starting with a phone that gives basic connectivity with limits on social media and browsing, then adding more over time (CyberSafeKids guide).

It also helps to talk to other parents in the class. The pressure of “everyone else has one” is much easier when a few families agree to wait together, which is exactly what the voluntary codes encourage (gov.ie).

If you do go ahead: set it up first

Internet Matters recommends setting up parental controls before you hand the phone over, and factory resetting a hand-me-down phone first (Internet Matters). CyberSafeKids suggests (CyberSafeKids guide):

1. Use the family controls built into the phone: Screen Time and Family Sharing on an iPhone, or Google Family Link on Android.
2. Turn off location sharing on the phone and in individual apps.
3. Turn on safe search and content filters.
4. Switch off in-app purchases.
5. Keep the phone out of bedrooms, especially overnight, and agree screen-free times such as meals and bedtime.

If it’s an iPhone, our guide to setting up Screen Time on your child’s iPhone walks you through it. Menus change between versions, so check the current help page for your phone too.

Just as important: explain why the settings are there, so your child is less tempted to get around them, and keep talking about what they do online (Internet Matters).

What to do next

• Ask yourself what the phone is really for. If it’s mainly for contact, look at a basic phone or GPS watch first.
• Go through the readiness questions with your child, honestly and calmly. It can turn a “no” into a “not yet, and here’s what would help”.
• Have a chat with two or three other parents in the class about when your children will get phones. You may find they feel the same.
• If a smartphone is coming, set up the controls before the big day, and agree a few rules together. Our guide to a family screen time agreement can help.

Whatever you decide, there’s no perfect age, and you know your child best. Waiting a bit longer and getting a first phone well set up are both good choices.